Okay, so I'm not back at full strength. But it appears that I won't have a computer until friggin' January, so I might as well try and put something up here before the backlog gets too huge. (By the way, if anyone wants to know... I hate contractors. Scumsucking nogoodniks, all of 'em.) I'm gonna steal a page from Kent's book to get myself back up to speed -- don't expect anything too insightful, just a line or two.
Baadasssss! (2004)
Slow going at first, but eventually it's too irresistible to dislike; without a doubt, the best movie ever made about a really bad movie. Mario Van Peebles's performance is excellent.
Grade: B+
Bay of Blood (1971)
Incredible when the big murder setpieces are playing out, less so when people are doing other stuff (like, you know, talking).
Grade: B-
A Bucket of Blood (1959)
So cheesy and so cheap... and so wonderful for it. Dick Miller is the shit.
Grade: B+
City of God (2003)
Style can't cover your big empty, Fernando. I already knew life sucked being poor, broke and oppressed in Brazil -- that's what Sepultura's Chaos A.D. album is for.
Grade: C+
Coffee and Cigarettes (2004)
Boring, slightly amusing, boring, boring, unbelievably boring, unspeakably boring, mostly boring, amusing, quite amusing, so awesome it scrapes genius, kind of affecting but incongruous with the rest of the film.
Grade: C+
Day of Wrath (1943)
Carl Dreyer gets my vote for all-around best director in world history.
Grade: A
Decision at Sundown (1957)
Not too bad, although apparently not up to snuff with other Boetticher/Scott efforts; last ten minutes are killer.
Grade: B
The Five Obstructions (2004)
Lars von Trier is an asshole. But surprisingly, he's a charismatic, likable and ultimately sympathetic asshole. Wish I understood why Leth's awkward, dorky short was so important to him, but at least he helped make it better.
Grade: B+
Flavia the Heretic (1974)
Not nunsploitation per se, but rather a film that uses the genre's trappings in an effort to slip a violent feminist-awakening tale past the grindhouse crowd. Manages a nice balance of the silly and the sober, although it loses steam near the end.
Grade: B-
42nd Street (1933)
The granddaddy of showbiz musicals, today, seems frightfully clumsy today. The rhythm is just a bit off, and the crises never really seem that important. Weirdly defeatist ending, too. But oh, those Busby Berkeley numbers!
Grade: B
George Bataille's Story of the Eye (2004)
Pretentious, insufferably stupid pomo-porno junk. Dave Kehr has some 'splainin to do; the guy on IMDb who compares this to Salo and Eyes Wide Shut is a lunatic. Positives (because every movie has them): the blackout ending, with its Merzbow-style noisescape on the soundtrack, was at least interesting from a middle-finger perspective. And, hey, I can now say that I've seen gay porn.
Grade: F
The Grudge (2004)
Slightly better than the Japanese version, if only because it disincludes those fucking random schoolgirls; still, in wearing its incoherence like a crown it follows its progenitor off the cliff. Then again, who cares, I had my reasons for seeing it.
Grade: C
Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in the Land of Demons (1973)
Darren Aronofsky is apparently slated to remake these films. I don't know if that's good or bad. At any rate, he wouldn't find an Ogami as good as the original.
Grade: B+
Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell (1974)
Samurais on skis? Hell yeah.
Grade: A-
The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2004)
With so many bad films in existence, why go and make a deliberately bad one? Memo to Larry Blamire: Camp, by definition, is unintentional, you dumbass. ("Amish terrarium" was pretty clever, though. Points to you for that.)
Grade: C-
Maitresse (1973)
Whoa, Gerard Depardieu used to be handsome? Who knew? (Oh, the movie? I liked it a lot.)
Grade: B+
Masked and Anonymous (2003)
I wish I'd seen whatever movie John Goodman thinks he's in instead of this rambling load of bollocks.
Grade: D+
Millennium Mambo (2003)
Blah blah my boyfriend's a dick blah blah I wish I could leave him and find happiness blah blah zzzzzzzzz.
Grade: C-
Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism (2004)
If Michael Moore is the liberal prankster spirit, does that make Robert Greenwald the bomb-throwing po-faced spirit? Not exactly revelatory (what leftist documentary is these days?), but the extent to which Fox News functions as a cheerleader for the Republicans is still breathtaking when someone points it out. Bill O'Reilly is SUCH a blowhard.
Grade: B
Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975)
Oooh, creepy.
Grade: B+
Primer (2004)
Okay, so first the two guys did this, but then they had to do this, then one of them decided to go this way and the other guy wanted to do something else and then it all wraps around on itself and... ouch. My brain hurts.
Grade: B+
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Best damn zombie film in years. You wanna debate that?
Grade: A-
Singin' in the Rain (1952)
Look up the word 'joy' in the dictionary and there's a screenshot from this film.
Grade: A
A Smell of Honey, a Swallow of Brine (1966)
Better than The Notorious Daughter of Fanny Hill at least, but a movie should at least have more than 10 minutes of material if it's going to span 75.
Grade: C
Spartan (2004)
Where's the girl? Where's. The girl. Where. Is. The. Girl. (I love David Mamet.)
Grade: B+
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (2002)
Fucking amazing until halfway through when the vengeance begins in earnest -- the extraordinary aesthetic power of the opening acts begins to feel overly determined and mutes the gutter-ball force of the Guignol second half. Still incredible to look at, but it's no Run and Kill.
Grade: B-
Team America: World Police (2004)
People who think this film has a conservative streak are soooooooo wrong. I'll probably elaborate on Milk Plus. Shoulda been funnier, though. (The Pearl Harbor song sounded great on paper, but it's just dumb onscreen.)
Grade: B
Tears of the Black Tiger (2001)
Harnessing a post-modern hyperactive spaghetti Western to a Douglas Sirk melodrama shouldn't work... and hey, whadaya know, it doesn't. A lot of cool bits, but it's too precious and self-aware to work. And I wanted to like it so badly...
Grade: C+
White Dog (1982)
No wonder this film got beat up upon release -- it's the ultimate Bronx cheer to the Hollywood-liberal idea that we can all get along some day. Pessimistic but compelling and haunting. It needed a stronger lead, though -- Kristy McNichol is too whiny.
Grade: B
Zatoichi and the Doomed Man (1965)
Go blind man go blind man go!
Grade: B+
Zatoichi and the Chess Expert (1965)
Damn, blind man... this one sucked. It was boring and cursed with flat pacing. Please try harder next time, blind man.
Grade: C+
Baadasssss! (2004)
Slow going at first, but eventually it's too irresistible to dislike; without a doubt, the best movie ever made about a really bad movie. Mario Van Peebles's performance is excellent.
Grade: B+
Bay of Blood (1971)
Incredible when the big murder setpieces are playing out, less so when people are doing other stuff (like, you know, talking).
Grade: B-
A Bucket of Blood (1959)
So cheesy and so cheap... and so wonderful for it. Dick Miller is the shit.
Grade: B+
City of God (2003)
Style can't cover your big empty, Fernando. I already knew life sucked being poor, broke and oppressed in Brazil -- that's what Sepultura's Chaos A.D. album is for.
Grade: C+
Coffee and Cigarettes (2004)
Boring, slightly amusing, boring, boring, unbelievably boring, unspeakably boring, mostly boring, amusing, quite amusing, so awesome it scrapes genius, kind of affecting but incongruous with the rest of the film.
Grade: C+
Day of Wrath (1943)
Carl Dreyer gets my vote for all-around best director in world history.
Grade: A
Decision at Sundown (1957)
Not too bad, although apparently not up to snuff with other Boetticher/Scott efforts; last ten minutes are killer.
Grade: B
The Five Obstructions (2004)
Lars von Trier is an asshole. But surprisingly, he's a charismatic, likable and ultimately sympathetic asshole. Wish I understood why Leth's awkward, dorky short was so important to him, but at least he helped make it better.
Grade: B+
Flavia the Heretic (1974)
Not nunsploitation per se, but rather a film that uses the genre's trappings in an effort to slip a violent feminist-awakening tale past the grindhouse crowd. Manages a nice balance of the silly and the sober, although it loses steam near the end.
Grade: B-
42nd Street (1933)
The granddaddy of showbiz musicals, today, seems frightfully clumsy today. The rhythm is just a bit off, and the crises never really seem that important. Weirdly defeatist ending, too. But oh, those Busby Berkeley numbers!
Grade: B
George Bataille's Story of the Eye (2004)
Pretentious, insufferably stupid pomo-porno junk. Dave Kehr has some 'splainin to do; the guy on IMDb who compares this to Salo and Eyes Wide Shut is a lunatic. Positives (because every movie has them): the blackout ending, with its Merzbow-style noisescape on the soundtrack, was at least interesting from a middle-finger perspective. And, hey, I can now say that I've seen gay porn.
Grade: F
The Grudge (2004)
Slightly better than the Japanese version, if only because it disincludes those fucking random schoolgirls; still, in wearing its incoherence like a crown it follows its progenitor off the cliff. Then again, who cares, I had my reasons for seeing it.
Grade: C
Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in the Land of Demons (1973)
Darren Aronofsky is apparently slated to remake these films. I don't know if that's good or bad. At any rate, he wouldn't find an Ogami as good as the original.
Grade: B+
Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell (1974)
Samurais on skis? Hell yeah.
Grade: A-
The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2004)
With so many bad films in existence, why go and make a deliberately bad one? Memo to Larry Blamire: Camp, by definition, is unintentional, you dumbass. ("Amish terrarium" was pretty clever, though. Points to you for that.)
Grade: C-
Maitresse (1973)
Whoa, Gerard Depardieu used to be handsome? Who knew? (Oh, the movie? I liked it a lot.)
Grade: B+
Masked and Anonymous (2003)
I wish I'd seen whatever movie John Goodman thinks he's in instead of this rambling load of bollocks.
Grade: D+
Millennium Mambo (2003)
Blah blah my boyfriend's a dick blah blah I wish I could leave him and find happiness blah blah zzzzzzzzz.
Grade: C-
Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism (2004)
If Michael Moore is the liberal prankster spirit, does that make Robert Greenwald the bomb-throwing po-faced spirit? Not exactly revelatory (what leftist documentary is these days?), but the extent to which Fox News functions as a cheerleader for the Republicans is still breathtaking when someone points it out. Bill O'Reilly is SUCH a blowhard.
Grade: B
Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975)
Oooh, creepy.
Grade: B+
Primer (2004)
Okay, so first the two guys did this, but then they had to do this, then one of them decided to go this way and the other guy wanted to do something else and then it all wraps around on itself and... ouch. My brain hurts.
Grade: B+
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Best damn zombie film in years. You wanna debate that?
Grade: A-
Singin' in the Rain (1952)
Look up the word 'joy' in the dictionary and there's a screenshot from this film.
Grade: A
A Smell of Honey, a Swallow of Brine (1966)
Better than The Notorious Daughter of Fanny Hill at least, but a movie should at least have more than 10 minutes of material if it's going to span 75.
Grade: C
Spartan (2004)
Where's the girl? Where's. The girl. Where. Is. The. Girl. (I love David Mamet.)
Grade: B+
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (2002)
Fucking amazing until halfway through when the vengeance begins in earnest -- the extraordinary aesthetic power of the opening acts begins to feel overly determined and mutes the gutter-ball force of the Guignol second half. Still incredible to look at, but it's no Run and Kill.
Grade: B-
Team America: World Police (2004)
People who think this film has a conservative streak are soooooooo wrong. I'll probably elaborate on Milk Plus. Shoulda been funnier, though. (The Pearl Harbor song sounded great on paper, but it's just dumb onscreen.)
Grade: B
Tears of the Black Tiger (2001)
Harnessing a post-modern hyperactive spaghetti Western to a Douglas Sirk melodrama shouldn't work... and hey, whadaya know, it doesn't. A lot of cool bits, but it's too precious and self-aware to work. And I wanted to like it so badly...
Grade: C+
White Dog (1982)
No wonder this film got beat up upon release -- it's the ultimate Bronx cheer to the Hollywood-liberal idea that we can all get along some day. Pessimistic but compelling and haunting. It needed a stronger lead, though -- Kristy McNichol is too whiny.
Grade: B
Zatoichi and the Doomed Man (1965)
Go blind man go blind man go!
Grade: B+
Zatoichi and the Chess Expert (1965)
Damn, blind man... this one sucked. It was boring and cursed with flat pacing. Please try harder next time, blind man.
Grade: C+
