The Last Legion (2007)

I'd never fallen asleep on a first-run theatrical screening before this movie, but four hours sleep + ten-hour workday + B-52 at closing time - interest in film = sawing logs. The two-thirds or so I did see of the film was hovering around a C-, what with the fact that this felt like an unwelcome throwback to the wooden halcyon days of the Italian peplum film, all declamatory speeches and action scenes with the participants merely waving their swords at one another. Still, it wouldn't be fair to paste a grade on a film I didn't make it all the way through, even if I did see enough to note that the plot is threadbare and Colin Firth has a "get me the hell out of here, please" look on his face through every single one of his scenes. As consolation, though, there is Aishwarya Rai, who is one of the most gorgeous beings on this planet. Even my wife was stunned.

Grade: none