300 (2007)

I'm with Kent Beeson when he states that the political/social aspects of Zack Snyder's gonzo gladiatorial gargantua are so over-the-top that to take them at all seriously is absurd. (Then again, people still pay attention to Ann Coulter, so maybe we shouldn't be dismissing this out of hand.) Intentional or not, though, the fascistic/anti-minority/pro-conformity ideas at the heart of 300 render a stupid movie that much stupider. Then again, maybe stupid is the wrong word, since it still implies the presence of a brain; by all evidence, not a single neuron's worth of thought went into the creation of this film. This is groin-level filmmaking, filled with testosterone and bulging muscles and macho man-on-man violence. Stylized to a ridiculous degree, the battles are theoretically impressive, but they're all motion without purpose -- they never feel alive. Meanwhile, the less said about the parts where big men aren't swinging swords, the better; every stilted line is shouted, declaimed rather than delivered, as though if we're intimidated by the volume we won't notice how lame the dialogue is. How this differs from the average supercheap Italian peplum, other than the shiny coat of new digital paint, I don't know. Just get it the hell away from me. Y'all are welcome to it.

Grade: D