Curse of the Alpha Stone (1972)

There was so much anti-promise in this film's first half that I had it pegged as the crackpot alternative "classic" I'd heard it to be. Terrible acting (the lead can't even hang up a telephone properly), silly attempts at scientific dialogue, incompetent direction and a lunatic premise that looks forward to early Cronenberg... what's not to love? A lot, apparently; the later stages of the film refuse to soar like they should, and the film drowns itself in dialogue as it collapses into just another crappy obscurity best left unmade. So much time was spent setting up the premise (a guy creates a philosopher's stone that turns people into sex maniacs) that much of the deranged invention is exhausted by the time things start to happen. There's still some goofy touches to be had (the smoking vagina was impressively stupid) and a memorably abrupt ending (the director ran out of film!), but there's better (read: worse) stuff out there.

Grade: D+