Friday, September 02, 2005

Fatal Frames (1996)

Pathetic attempt at new-wave giallo comes off like a really lousy '80s music video spiced with gore and stretched to insane proportions. Both talent and sense are in short supply here. Nobody on camera could act their way out of traffic school. The sets are cheap and only get rendered cheaper-looking by the painfully "atmospheric" lighting that turns everything blue. The ADR work was possibly done in a cavern, as almost none of the dialogue is audible -- which might be a blessing, considering some of the retarded shit that passes for screenwriting here. And then there's the music, which can only be typified as crappy New Wave crossed with Europop and Muzak. The first half of the film offers many opportunity to score some cheap laughs at this shitstain's expense, but as the film plods through its mind-numbing 130-minute length, there reaches a point where nothing seems funny. You just want your head to stop hurting. The toxic "clever" ending is just the cherry on the top of this crap sundae. In conclusion: Stay far, far away from this.

Grade: D-


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