The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made (2005)

I knew I would be this movie's bitch when I saw the watermelon gag. This lives up to its title -- it's certainly a godawful horror movie. It is, however, a fairly amusing juvenile-minded comedy. Top-loaded with jokes about sex and poop and a fondness for groan-worthy puns, this often feels like a lost Troma movie. But then I think we all know how I feel about Troma. I was awash in laughter for much of the film -- occasionally because something struck me as really funny, occasionally because something was so stupid that I had to laugh, and occasionally because something was so stupid that I couldn't believe they actually put in it there and had to laugh in defense. I can't in good conscience give it a passing grade, but Jesus I enjoyed it. One day, I will probably make a movie like this, and everyone reading this site will hate it and think I am crazy for doing it. You're welcome in advance. Also, I kinda have a crush on Jeanne Potter. She's cute, she's sardonic, she's red-headed, she's got a tongue ring and she's got the thickness goin' on. Who says nothing good ever comes out of Jersey?

Grade: C+