Hellboy (2004)

Big fat disappointment, this one -- it's well-directed and contains a spot-on performance from Ron Perlman but has indifferent supporting actors (has Selma Blair ever been worse than she is here?) and a screenplay that is, to be frank, gopher shit. Like its title character, it's a crude beastly thing that lumbers and lurches from one thing to another with no sense of pacing. The climax is criminally blase.

Grade: C