Night of the Bloody Apes (1972)

Awwwwww, yeah. This is quite possibly one of the worst films in existence, and it's all the better for it. It's some nonsense about a mad scientist who transplants an ape heart into his dying son's body with some superfluous female wrestling action tacked on just because all Mexican horror and fantasy films made prior to 1985 are contractually obligated to feature a character who wrestles in a mask. The gore is plentiful and the nudity is copious and the dubbing is downright hysterical. (Best moment in the film, bar none: A lady discovers a corpse on the street and lets loose with the immortal "Oh no! A dead man, a dead man, a dead man!") Fairly notorious for its crass inclusion of genuine open-heart surgery during the transplant sequences, but once you get past the initial grossout even that is funny -- the spliced-in footage shows our skilled Mad Scientist to possess four hands! And don't even get me started on the gloriously awful ape-man makeup. For some reason, incompetence on this rareified level makes me unreasonably happy.

Grade: B-