King Kung Fu (1976)

It's a regional curiosity about a kung-fu-trained ape, and it's so thoroughly incompetent and painful that I sincerely wish I could travel back in time and murder the writer-director's parents just to prevent this cinematic abortion from ever taking place. I'd go on about it but there's no way in hell anyone reading this will ever see it so just know that it will make your eyes bleed.

Grade: F