Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

It's everything you could have hoped for. Long-awaited clash of the barons of body count delivers everything you expect from it, plus a little bit more. Is it scary? Of course not -- neither franchise has been frightening in years. Is the acting worthwhile? Of course not -- this is a meat movie, after all, so who can afford good actors when you're blowing all your cash on stage blood? Is there actually a plot? Why, yes Virginia, there actually is, and it's a fairly clever one too. It's also somewhat complicated, so that a lot of the downtime consists of characters slinging exposition at one another, but at least that gives them something to say while waiting to be slaughtered. It's also got *gasp!* a few characters who are actually sorta interesting (the stoner kid in particular -- he gets all the best lines). I know, I know... what you really wanna know is are there lots of juicy and disgusting kills, and does the slugfest between Messrs. Krueger and Vorhees live up to its hype? Oh, Mama... yer darn tootin'. Ronny Yu was the perfect guy to direct this -- from the initial murder, where Yu takes what should be a routine stabbing and goes the extra yard with it, to the sheer volume of blood that gushes out during this film's splatter scenes (it's probably the bloodiest of any film in either series, and that's sayin' somethin', mister), to the sheer all-out knockabout carnage that Freddy and Jason inflict on each other during their big battle... well, you'll just wanna stand up and cheer. That's how cool this film is. It's indefensible as art, true, and I'm not sure if it truly qualifies as a 'good' movie. But it's entertaining as fuck. And isn't that all we want from our summer movies?

Grade: B