Pieces (1981)
You want sleaze? I got your sleaze. This film is repulsive, stupid, poorly acted, oft-incompetent and generally devoid of any redeeming value... which means I thought it was the kitten's tits. I want to hug this film, I like it so much. Strange reaction towards a Texas Chainsaw Massacre-ripoff, I know, but jesus. I am, after all, a crap-film connoisseur, and this mongoloid monstrosity is right up my alley. It's got nudity, heaps o' gore, chainsaws, rampant idiocy, awful dialogue (I refuse to believe anyone could have written the line "The greatest thing in life is smoking pot while fucking on a waterbed" and taken it seriously), blood and did I mention the sleaze? Biggest surprise: Juan Piquer Simon, despite what you may have heard, isn't that bad a director -- parts of the film are surprisingly stylish. (True, it's mostly second-hand style taken from Dario Argento, but at least it's done competently.) Biggest surprise that, upon reflection, isn't a surprise at all: The script was co-written, under a pseudonym, by Italian sleaze merchant extraordinaire Joe D'Amato, which probably explains some of the more tasteless stuff in the film (like the whole scene where the tennis chick gets killed). Biggest reason why I now hold this film close to my heart, despite all the shittiness: It rekindled my desire to write my own berserk gross-out gore flick. (Plus, it inspired my friend Dave to come up with the idea of "nipple extensions" -- like a weave, but for your boobs!) Damn straight.
Grade: B
You want sleaze? I got your sleaze. This film is repulsive, stupid, poorly acted, oft-incompetent and generally devoid of any redeeming value... which means I thought it was the kitten's tits. I want to hug this film, I like it so much. Strange reaction towards a Texas Chainsaw Massacre-ripoff, I know, but jesus. I am, after all, a crap-film connoisseur, and this mongoloid monstrosity is right up my alley. It's got nudity, heaps o' gore, chainsaws, rampant idiocy, awful dialogue (I refuse to believe anyone could have written the line "The greatest thing in life is smoking pot while fucking on a waterbed" and taken it seriously), blood and did I mention the sleaze? Biggest surprise: Juan Piquer Simon, despite what you may have heard, isn't that bad a director -- parts of the film are surprisingly stylish. (True, it's mostly second-hand style taken from Dario Argento, but at least it's done competently.) Biggest surprise that, upon reflection, isn't a surprise at all: The script was co-written, under a pseudonym, by Italian sleaze merchant extraordinaire Joe D'Amato, which probably explains some of the more tasteless stuff in the film (like the whole scene where the tennis chick gets killed). Biggest reason why I now hold this film close to my heart, despite all the shittiness: It rekindled my desire to write my own berserk gross-out gore flick. (Plus, it inspired my friend Dave to come up with the idea of "nipple extensions" -- like a weave, but for your boobs!) Damn straight.
Grade: B
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