Spider (2003)

I'd love to write just one sentence about this film and move on, but it would be too difficult. See, I'd have to find one perfect combination of words that expresses my immense disappointment in this film, the latest from Canadian genius David Cronenberg, as well as my utter boredom with the screenplay and my disgust with Cronenberg at wasting his talent on this jejune material. It's expertly directed, for sure, but that only goes so far. Despite Cronenberg's best efforts, the film is a non-starter of epic proportions, a crashingly obvious "symbolic" work made even more obvious by the decision to stick Miranda Richardson in multiple roles. The film's not helped by Ralph Fiennes's mumbly turn, either -- a performance with less substance than this would be hard to find. Gorgeous but dull in the extreme, this ranks as its director's worst film.

Grade: C-