The Man Who Cried (2001)

Rather than a proper review, I have decided to illustrate the depth of my feelings for this film by giving you a detailed account of my activities during the film's running time. Enjoy this peek into my very exciting life!

0:00 (start) -- Watched opening credits roll.
0:01 -- Got bored.
0:05 -- Reminded by presence of Christina Ricci of a connect-the-stars challenge I had set for myself the other night: Denzel Washington to Ricci in two steps. Started mulling that over.
0:23 -- Got frustrated by my inability to figure out the connection, consulted my VideoHound guide.
0:24 -- Nearly kicked myself when I realized the answer: Denzel Washington was in He Got Game with John Turturro, who starred with Christina Ricci in... The Man Who Cried.
0:29 -- Saw Harry Dean Stanton in a small role. Rejoiced.
0:30 -- Got bored again, picked up Drew Carey's book Dirty Jokes and Beer and began to reread the "Dirty Jokes" section.
0:45 -- Still reading.
0:52 -- Sex scene with Christina Ricci and Johnny Depp. No nudity.
1:16 -- Reached the "101 Big-Dick Jokes" chapter. Decided that would be way more interesting than the film I was only sorta paying attention to anyway and turned off the DVD.

Grade: none