The ABCs of Love & Sex: Australia Style (1978)

I found this hiding on the Comedy rack at my favorite video store, a treasure chest of never-heard-of-it and can't-find-it stuff. After viewing this movie, I hate to say it, but somebody at that video store's gettin' a beating. Comedy, my ass -- this thing's as straight-faced and serious as your average "based-on-a-true-story" TV drama. If a '70s-style softcore stroke flick and an educational film reel got into a head-on collision at ninety miles an hour, you might end up with this crooked-dicked mutant of a movie. It's the kind of thing you'd hope to see in Sex Ed class when you're fourteen and just dying for a peek at some naked gazongas; however, if you were in the mood for a proper film and not a collection of sex scenes with incongruously dry narration laid on top of it, it's torturous. Even the nonstop nudity gets boring, and that's something I never thought I'd say. What's up with the Swedish sexologist chick, anyway? Why the hell is she in this film mucking up the naughty bits?

Grade: D-