Tuesday, May 21, 2002

Zombie Lake (1980)

You know, sometimes grades are just inadequate. I can't really give this film a decent grade, because it fails utterly at everything it's trying to do. But boy fuckin' howdy, is it ever entertaining! This is one of the funniest films I've seen in many a moon. People who love bad trash should make a point to see this -- it's got some of the lowest production values you'll ever see (the 'underwater' scenes are obviously filmed in a swimming pool with gray tarp on the wall -- in one scene, the camera strays too far to the right and you can see the filter!) and probably the worst (and thus funniest) dubbing job in history. Seriously. It makes your average chop-socky effort look near-seamless. If that's not enough, how about that the plot is about green-skinned Nazi zombies (though everyone calls them ghosts, for some reason) who crawl out of a lake in France and attack some villagers -- mostly attractive, fully nekkid females. Still not enough? Well, how about the film's main subplot, which involves the main zombie (a blond Teutonic gent, naturally) BONDING WITH HIS TWELVE-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER!! Folks, I couldn't do that shit justice no matter how much detail I gave you. It's one of those things you just gotta experience. Yes, it's goat shit, and it doesn't measure up to Nude for Satan, not by a million miles. (Nude for Satan is my barometer by which all other bad movies have to be measured -- it's so pure and unfiltered in its utter badness that it achieves a kind of brilliant grandeur.) But it's still pretty hysterical, and despite the grade I'd watch it over the other film I saw last night any day.

Grade: C

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