Showdown in Little Tokyo (1991)

I only saw this because I was bound and determined to watch something on cable and my other choice was Exit Wounds. And I'll take a goofball early-'90s action flick over a po-faced rapper-starring 2001 action movie any day. I just wish I'd had a third choice. It's pretty painless as far as these things go, but it's still hopelessly lame all the same. Dolph Lundgren speaks two languages in this film (English and Japanese), and he's awful in both of them. Tia Carrere's in this too, and almost has a nude scene! (Damn body doubles.) The fight scenes are pretty entertaining, and Brandon Lee does a pretty good Bruce Campbell imitation. But God help me, pretty much the only thought running through my head for roughly the film's entire running length (all 79 minutes of it -- it appears to have been cut down to the bare bones of the plot, leaving little room for such niceties like characterization, continuity or logic) was "I should watch this again and take notes so I can rip it apart over at Badmovies.org." And that thought is never a good sign.

Grade: C-