Saturday, February 16, 2002

Collateral Damage (2002)

Hee hee hee... only two months into the year and already we have a king-sized untentional-laugh-o-rama. This just serves as more proof that Hollywood really shouldn't try to get serious about political conflicts. (The screenwriters' simplistic grasp on the three-sides-to-every-story situation seems to be just above that of the average four-year-old.) And it's not like this fits into the lunkheaded-fun mold of Commando either -- nope, it's waaaaay too solemn and self-serious for that, my friends. It wants to thrill you AND enlighten you! (And if you're at all "enlightened" by this film's ridiculous lip service to the consequences of American misdeeds, you need to read a little more often. BTW, if you think my politics are misguided here, there's an e-mail link down there. Feel free to brand me a commie pinko bastard.) Honestly, as the credits rolled after the insulting meat-for-the-masses climax, I stood up and shouted "Can't we all just get along?????" After this and End of Days, I'm now going to avoid any movie in which Arnie wears the tortured-soul stubbly look. And wasn't there a time when Andrew Davis was a talented B-movie hacktion director instead of a terrible A-movie hacktion director? If you've ever wanted to see what a Reagan-era jingoism-fest would look like with a shiny coat of Hollywood-style surface liberalism, this one's for you. (We care a lot, yes we do...)

Grade: C-