NOTE FROM JENNY SEKWA, THE WORLD'S MOST ASTUTE GUEST REVIEWER:
If you think Steve got MY dander up with his first review of Deer Hunter, just picture him experiencing computer difficulties and being unable to post some of those FASCINATING Herschell Gordon Lewis reviews. WHOOOOOOOOO BOYEEEEEEEEE - he's probably one ornery motherfucker right about now. I'd say his dander is wayyyy up. Master Carlson asked me to post some reviews for him as he is currently unable to do so himself. Being the sensitive, sympathetic, good friend that I am, I laughed my ass off and told him to piss off. Allright, I'm just doin comedy with you guys! With no further ado, I give you - REVIEWS FROM STEVE!!!
**********
Sorry for the long-ass delay, folks. But my computer is more or less fucked right now. So bear with me, 'cause I'm pissed and frustrated. The reviews will probably be less insightful than y'all are used to. And, needless to say, HG Lewis Month is gonna continue far beyond one month.
The Bourne Identity (2002)
Not exactly transcendent or distinguished or anything (it's a genre film and nothing more), but it's damn entertaining all the same. Has one of the most accomplished jump scenes in recent memory -- all the more impressive because the scene was included in the trailer and it STILL got me to leap five feet straight up.
Grade: B
Bandits (2001)
Musta been a fire sale at the Irritating Quirk Store or something.
Grade: D
HG Lewis Month continues, Part 1: The Wizard of Gore (1970)
More or less the ultimate Lewis film -- so cheesy, crass, gore-splattered, stoopid and all-together awful that it damn near approaches genius. Some films, you talk back to; this film, I had a running conversation with.
Grade: B
HG Lewis Month continues, Part 2: Scum of the Earth! (1963)
A lesser achievement from Lewis; quite amusing in spots (Mal Arnold is awesome and that's all there is to it) but kinda dull even at 70 minutes. Awfully timid, too, especially for a guy who came up in the nudie-cutie circuit.
Grade: C
The Defilers (1965)
Not an HG Lewis film, but it's from Lewis's "Blood Trilogy" producer David Friedman, it's generally credited with being the first mainstream "roughie" film... and Jesus Christ, it sucks. When a film's director calls a film pathetic (as R. Lee Frost did in the latest issue of Shock Cinema), you know you've got a dog in your hands. At least we get to see Linda Cochran (the Southern temptress in Two Thousand Maniacs!) in the all-together. So I guess that's something.
Grade: D-
PS from Jenny: Coincidentally, I just saw The Bourne Identity last night, ya know, just to take a break from the 150 degree heat - holy shit it's HOT, and I have to say - my jaw almost dropped when I read his review because I had the exact same thoughts, right down to the jump scene he refers to. I hate to admit it, but sometimes Steve Carlson is a brilliant reviewer.
PPS from Jenny: Apologies to Mr. Carlson, for my inability to link the movies to IMDB as he does . What do you think I am, some computer nerd? I have NO stinkin clue how to link the movies, you cranky bastard! Sheesh.
Hurry back soon!
If you think Steve got MY dander up with his first review of Deer Hunter, just picture him experiencing computer difficulties and being unable to post some of those FASCINATING Herschell Gordon Lewis reviews. WHOOOOOOOOO BOYEEEEEEEEE - he's probably one ornery motherfucker right about now. I'd say his dander is wayyyy up. Master Carlson asked me to post some reviews for him as he is currently unable to do so himself. Being the sensitive, sympathetic, good friend that I am, I laughed my ass off and told him to piss off. Allright, I'm just doin comedy with you guys! With no further ado, I give you - REVIEWS FROM STEVE!!!
**********
Sorry for the long-ass delay, folks. But my computer is more or less fucked right now. So bear with me, 'cause I'm pissed and frustrated. The reviews will probably be less insightful than y'all are used to. And, needless to say, HG Lewis Month is gonna continue far beyond one month.
The Bourne Identity (2002)
Not exactly transcendent or distinguished or anything (it's a genre film and nothing more), but it's damn entertaining all the same. Has one of the most accomplished jump scenes in recent memory -- all the more impressive because the scene was included in the trailer and it STILL got me to leap five feet straight up.
Grade: B
Bandits (2001)
Musta been a fire sale at the Irritating Quirk Store or something.
Grade: D
HG Lewis Month continues, Part 1: The Wizard of Gore (1970)
More or less the ultimate Lewis film -- so cheesy, crass, gore-splattered, stoopid and all-together awful that it damn near approaches genius. Some films, you talk back to; this film, I had a running conversation with.
Grade: B
HG Lewis Month continues, Part 2: Scum of the Earth! (1963)
A lesser achievement from Lewis; quite amusing in spots (Mal Arnold is awesome and that's all there is to it) but kinda dull even at 70 minutes. Awfully timid, too, especially for a guy who came up in the nudie-cutie circuit.
Grade: C
The Defilers (1965)
Not an HG Lewis film, but it's from Lewis's "Blood Trilogy" producer David Friedman, it's generally credited with being the first mainstream "roughie" film... and Jesus Christ, it sucks. When a film's director calls a film pathetic (as R. Lee Frost did in the latest issue of Shock Cinema), you know you've got a dog in your hands. At least we get to see Linda Cochran (the Southern temptress in Two Thousand Maniacs!) in the all-together. So I guess that's something.
Grade: D-
PS from Jenny: Coincidentally, I just saw The Bourne Identity last night, ya know, just to take a break from the 150 degree heat - holy shit it's HOT, and I have to say - my jaw almost dropped when I read his review because I had the exact same thoughts, right down to the jump scene he refers to. I hate to admit it, but sometimes Steve Carlson is a brilliant reviewer.
PPS from Jenny: Apologies to Mr. Carlson, for my inability to link the movies to IMDB as he does . What do you think I am, some computer nerd? I have NO stinkin clue how to link the movies, you cranky bastard! Sheesh.
Hurry back soon!
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